I can admit now, six weeks into my trip, that I came into this journey with a completely broken heart. I didn’t know it at the time though. It didn’t feel the way I had experienced it before – it wasn’t straightforward and no one was really at fault. Regardless, I had developed a healthy fear of getting involved with anyone new and intentionally kept any interested parties at a healthy distance for the past several months… until now.
Since leaving Boston for my round-the-world trip, I’ve had some interesting prospects present themselves and given the circumstances, I’ve had to really consider how I think and act when it comes to relationships. I am so quick to let something new consume my thoughts, which is a problem when my entire livelihood relies on me staying present. While I was able to put interesting job prospects on hold to travel, I am finding that relationship prospects are not as easy to pass up. I get afraid that the person will move on and we will never get the opportunity to be together.
My 29th birthday was this week and entering the last year of my twenties, I couldn’t help but think that, someday in the future, I hope to have a husband and family (sorry to be such a cliché). The combination of what I’m doing and the age that I’m doing it is a bit odd – I have the urge to settle down but I’m fighting against it on a daily basis to grow as an individual and challenge myself. I am not pretending to be 19 or even 27 with my approach to the trip — the relationships I’ve made so far have been equally as significant as the travel itself. I don’t brush off a connection as easily anymore and I’m tuned into my feelings about people at all times.
So now I am facing a new challenge – what happens when you completely click with someone in a different country but plan to keep traveling? In theory, the answer is “nothing – keep moving!” But that isn’t how I work.
I asked the man in question this very same question and his response was this: “You are worth waiting for.”
This sentiment is something my family and friends have said to me plenty of times, but hearing someone say it to you and actually mean it feels completely different. I’m learning now that I need to have a little faith. In myself. In others. I don’t know who I’ll end up with, but I am realizing that if the person can’t give me the time and distance I need to complete this trip, he probably isn’t right for me. On the flip side, if he can genuinely support it and encourage it, maybe he is just perfect. I guess time will tell.
Categories: Travel Philosophy